Saturday, December 1, 2012

Strawberry Bucket-list

Now seemed as good a time as any to post my bucket list.

A friend recently posted a blog about all the things she would like to do in her life. I read over the list and was quite taken aback at all the things that seemed almost impossible to achieve. But then I considered it further and thought "why not?" Why can't I do that? What is stopping me? Maybe I may never get to cross it off my list, but why should I let that stop me from putting it in a list of things I want to do? Just because there are many factors that may not allow me to do something, doesn't mean I should refrain from telling myself I can.

And this is really what the list is about. A self-reminder that I can.
I can do what I want, when I want. Because I am the one in charge of my life and I am the one who steers the reigns. Yes, a lot of things on this list are almost impossible, but I will not allow myself to think that way.

I can and want to do the following items on my ongoing bucket list:


  • See fireflies
  • Dive with great white sharks
  • Hold a parrot
  • Own my own home
  • Have a garden
  • Win a costume contest
  • Create a videogame
  • Create a webcomic
  • Have a tshirt printed at Threadless
  • Get tattoos
  • Learn to remix music like Pogo and P.Sus
  • Meet Jon and Arin and give Jon a wee kiss <3
  • Be a Disney Princess at Disneyland
  • Have a successful youtube channel
  • Become a famous instagrammer
  • Learn how to knit
  • Learn how to dance
  • Compete in a dancing competition
  • Go to Disneyland around Christmas
  • Go to Hawaii
  • Go to Bali
  • Go to India
  • (Buy my very own original sari)
  • Go to Dubai
  • Go to Carribean
  • Have a flat stomach
  • Meet Kermit the frog
  • Drive a professional race car
  • Get married
  • Honeymoon in Disneyworld with the little wedding mickey ears
  • Have a dog
  • Have a rabbit
  • Train my rabbit
  • Perform burlesque
  • Do more cosplay
  • Throw a slurpee at Mark Messier
  • Learn how to roller skate (not blade, SKATE)
  • Learn how to french braid my own hair
  • See the northern lights
  • Learn how to play a new instrument (flute, violin, ocarina)



I don't consider myself a negative person, only realistic. I have been hurt and disappointed many times in my life that I am frightened to build up myself or have high expectations and have them explode in my face. So this list is small and seemingly achievable at the moment. I hope to build up my confidence bit by bit and add more "dos" and "wants" no matter the obstacles that may prevent my achievement.

Because I can.


Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Tell Me When Will My Life Begin?

It's been a very long time since I've updated this blog, and a very long time since I had some sort of thought process on what's been happening in my life and where it might be going. For the past 6 months I have been swept up in a whole lot of different, frightening events. Things that were/are life-changing. And I owe it all to my foolish heart.

If I just hadn't fallen for the boy across the ocean. Avoided him online, never indulged him in our several hour conversations, ignored his flirtatious comments... If I had just told my heart "no," I would never be in this predicament. But how could I? The boy across the ocean could make me smile from 11,360km away. The boy across the ocean understood me better than most people ever have. The boy across the ocean is the one for me. So I encouraged my endearing heart only to find that the journey was far from a smooth one.

Technically the LMO Kiwi had applied for, that we paid our lawyers quite a bit of money for, had gone through properly and allowed Kiwi to stay for another 2 years if we had applied for another work permit. The problem with this scenario is our plans to move to New Zealand were already in motion and the company that Kiwi was working for had to lay off their employees. So even if he had received his work permit, there was no guarantee that the company would acquire enough work to hire the workers back full-time. With the LMO work permit, Kiwi could only work for the company listed as his employer on the work permit. It would take another visit to the lawyers and another willing employer to file another application and we just weren't sure we could afford to stay at our place while that was going on.

We packed up our house and moved everything into storage. During the move, I obtained an extremely unwelcome sinus infection. The stuff that was comin' outta me... I just... Bravo, body. I don't know how you concocted it all, but there was an abundance of it. In the week leading up to the move my sinus infection crippled me to the point of bed-rest (which has rarely happened to me) which left Kiwi with most of the packing, much to my dismay. "Did you stack all the tupperware into one another before you put it in the box to save room?" "..."

So we rented a truck to move all our things. A truck that didn't fit well around a corner at my storage facility. A truck that suffered slight cosmetic damage when I turned too tightly around a corner so I wouldn't hit a boat. A truck that cost me $1000 to repair, even though the damage couldn't have cost anywhere near that much to repair. This is a battle that is on a back burner, but not forgotten! *shakes fist*

New Zealand was amazing. The smell was the first thing I noticed, despite my sinus massacre. The trees, the birds, the sound of cicadas rustling in the trees on the way to the house. It was something one could only imagine. I visited as many beaches as I could, and it still left me hungry for more. I explored the tropical forest trails hiding behind Kiwi's childhood home, exploring waterfalls, rivers and rock pools. I collected rocks, shells, feathers... It was an adventurer's dream.



And then the dream ended.

Those who know us closely understand what I mean when I say this.

Things were difficult from May onwards. When I think of New Zealand unfortunately my mind can only arrange traumatic or upsetting images, which saddens me. This brilliant country that smelled of earth and promise was replaced by a memory of misery. I had set out to write this post about these events in the hopes that it might help me move on or explain the way I had felt so that I could try to understand it myself. But upon writing this I cannot seem to find the courage. I only know that my time spent in New Zealand was both the happiest and worst experiences of my life.

The months following swallowed me in depression. I felt so far away from everyone, even from Kiwi who was only downstairs. My first instinct was to run, to leave. And in any other situation I would have. But Kiwi and I had moved to New Zealand for a purpose, and I couldn't give up on the boy across the ocean. If I had come home, Kiwi and I would have been over. There was no other way to stay together than applying for Permanent Residency. I did everything I could to collect all the information and forms required. This was no easy task, and if I had known more about the application I would have waited in Canada to complete it before moving. It was almost 10x more difficult in another country without my personal documents and a printer! I don't know how, but I managed to put our application together and send it off a week before I was scheduled to come home to Canada.



And then I left.

My trip home was about 36 hours. Of all of them, I slept only 6 in total. When I finally did sleep, I slept alone. And every day since.

The application has been received in Missasauga, but has not started processing yet. The process actually starts with me, if you can believe it. I applied to sponsor Kiwi as my common-law husband so they must investigate me to see if I am capable of being a sponsor, as this is a person who is responsible for the well-being of a foreigner for three years. The processing time in Canada is about 86 days, and the processing time at our VO office in Sydney is about 7 months. Just to give you an idea of our waiting timeframe.

I am frightened. For the first time in my life I am 100% unsure of it's outcome. If our application is refused I am at a loss. I cannot find another logical, legal way for Kiwi and I to stay together. Kiwi's plan is to come to Canada to wait for the Permanent Residency decision with me but he is only legally allowed to stay in Canada for 6 months. During this time Kiwi and I will be staying with my parents, but for how long? I may have to get a full-time job and put my freelance work and photography to the side just so we can afford to move out. If the application gets approved? I suppose Kiwi will find some sort of work and we will start all over again. The sickening realization that I may never own my own home is enough to make me want to become a wicked witch in some forest and never cut my toenails.

The world is my oyster but what part of it? Cause right now it feels like those gross, squiggly gray bits on the edges that nobody likes. The only pearl in my life is still in New Zealand. He's not in the next room typing furiously like he should. He's not cuddling up to me at night like he should. He's not making me smile when I'm sad like he should. 

Once again, the boy across the ocean is just that. Across the ocean. And my future is lost at sea.



-Strawberry



Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I Don't Know, Why Does Love Do This To Me?

On Monday, after a very stressful and ridiculous weekend involving a 12 hour shift at the Taboo Show in Vancouver's Convention Centre and our retarded landlord, Kiwi received a letter from Citizenship & Immigration Canada.

We had hired immigration lawyers to help us sort out Kiwi's work permit to see if we could extend his visa for another 2 years to give us time to sort out something more permanent. It was a long shot, considering we had a very short time to get all the paperwork sorted out. For someone who is only in the country for a year, finding a job and then convincing your boss to fill out piles of paperwork and be interviewed just for the sake of staying is very difficult to do before the deadline.

But we just had to try, otherwise Kiwi would have had to return to New Zealand in November and would have missed our (flu ridden) Christmas.

Our efforts were all for naught as the envelope enclosed a refusal letter.

What now?

I have very little idea.

We had half planned for this but keeping enthusiastic and positive limited our planning to a minimum, fearing the over-discussion would somehow jinx the decision of Citizenship & Immigration. Way to go, Kiwi! At the moment, Kiwi is an illegal immigrant unless we make moves to renew his temporary resident status. Even then, it might not be approved.

So what does this mean for Strawberry Kiwi?

Will we achingly separate while Kiwi goes back to New Zealand while I waste away here in Canada?



No, what are you stupid?

We're in this for the long-haul! If things happen to capsize completely, I will be packing my little suitcase (and giant boxes full of my work equipment) and moving to New Zealand with him!!! That's right, Strawberry is going wild! She's going to be a part of this jam! She's spreading across the land! Okay, that's enough.

I am able to acquire a Working Holiday visa for New Zealand, just like Kiwi had when he came to Canada. I will be able to live in New Zealand for up to a year, with multiple entrances allowed. This means I am still able to return to Canada to photograph the weddings I have booked this year, as well as visit during the Summer. If we leave to New Zealand in the next few months, we will be going through an entirely new Winter season, so coming back for the Summer is partly for sanity and partly for responsibility.

What if Strawberry and Kiwi get married?

Doesn't change anything, I'm afraid. Kiwi would still need to leave Canada and not be able to return unless it was for a 3-month visit.

When do we leave?

We have no idea. Things could happen where Kiwi is able to still apply for a new work permit, though I'm very doubtful of this happening because his permit is already expired. We still need to discuss things with our lawyers to see if there are any last options to stay in Canada. If not... Kiwi and I will be making plans to put our things into storage and leave in the next 2 months.

What then?

My plan is to apply for a permanent residency application to sponsor Kiwi as my common-law spouse. This means, if we're approved, that Kiwi can live and work in Canada forever. He's not a full citizen but he will be able to apply to be one after a certain duration in Canada. Is Canada our final resting destination?



Only time will tell :)

Monday, December 12, 2011

Movie Trailers Are Too Long

The spanking new trailer for G.I Joe 2 was released today. Excited, I watched it. Well, some of it. Up to the part around the White House, then I stopped. It runs just shy of three minutes and I guess the last 3rd of so is an action montage. It's an action movie, you gotta show some action. SOME action. Not ALL the action.

A week or so ago Amanda (Strawberry) and I went to see The Muppets. In the trailers beforehand they previewed the new Tin Tin movie, which I am also excited about (more so than G.I Joe 2) I closed my eyes because I didn't want to see any of it, at all. I had my eyes shut for so long I started to wonder if I had fallen into a coma. It went on. And on.

I love trailers, I do. Get some nice teasing images in there, a funny or dramatic line, some cool music. The best trailers can leave you really pumped and wanting more...which is the key, I think. When you see a trailer, the purpose of watching it is to leave you wanting more. But if you're showing me a clip from every scene in the film, what's left to wonder about?

It's not going to change, I accept that. This is the way things are, it's just a shame. Who asked for longer trailers? Maybe they need to be longer to hold the modern mind's attention and commit things to memory;

"The more we throw in their faces, the more likely they are to remember part of it!".

Not me, I'm closing my eyes. And next time I'm taking ear plugs.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Post-iTuesday

Someone got distracted by something. Pretty great to leave a tree almost done!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

D23 Disney Expo: Day 3 - Wrap it Up!

This post is long overdue! This post will be about our third day at the Expo, and to wrap up the event as a whole and post pretty pictures for everyone to see.
Let's break it down, shall we?

Cost:

I waited for an entire year for the D23 expo tickets to go on sale, and then waited another full year to actually attend the damn thing.
The price we paid for a 3-day pass the DAY they went on sale was: $106/person

Considering the contents of the expo, this price was steep. And I got the early-bird price. The ticket cost ramped up to the day of the event.

We met a few Disney cast members in the lineups and they admitted that they had got their tickets for free or for a small cost. This made paying $106 for my 3-day pass just a bit more sour. There were no hard feelings towards the cast members, merely another annoying way the D23 organization handled things.

Venue:

The Anaheim convention centre was an amazing and perfect place for the event. I will give this section an A+. I loved how clean and neat the property was. Each day I never saw a speck of trash, and all the restrooms were clean and well maintained. Being a girl, I probably saw each one - so take my word for it. I never saw any staff attending to these things, so I assume they were ninjas. So, gold star for the convention ninjas.

The space was enormous, perfect for everything in it. Although I did feel it's emptiness sometimes. Near the D23 store was a curtain sectioning off the border of the convention center. It wasn't fully opaque and I could barely make out the silhouettes of staff members bustling about in the giant concrete emptiness behind it. It was a strange veil and I'm getting the willies talking about it.

Despite the vast emptiness behind a thin piece of fabric, the exhibitor section was cramped and busy. You'd think by the way they set it up, they started setting up the official booths at the front with adequate walking space between each display, but by the time they got to the exhibitor section, the felt-pen started running out and there wasn't enough room on the poster so they scribbled as fast and small as possible until they had the cubicle-esque section. I got lost and walked in circles a few times. I'm still not sure I got to see every booth.

Lightning McQueen made of Lego
 Food:

The only thing I recall eating at the D23 expo was on the first day, we got hungry and immediately wandered over to a shortish line and bought some wraps and drinks. Half my wallet later, we sat against a window and chewed on the bland tube they assured me was food. I enjoy food a lot, and usually will eat all that is presented to me, but I put this one down. The highlight of our little lunch break was seeing the dwarf-sized David Arquette walking right past us.

Oh, right! We did eat something else. At a certain time every day, a booth in the corner gave away free cupcakes! Kiwi and I managed to get there just in time and were directed to the end of a moving line. This Houdini line kept meandering around the booth, then behind it, then down the hall, then it curved around and went back the other way. The line was moving so quickly that random people were jumping into the middle of it if someone slacked off or walked too slowly. Kiwi and I eventually made it to the front and were handed a very pretty white cupcake each with a plastic Mickey ring tucked neatly into the icing. By this time we were longing for some Disney magic, ate our cupcakes outside and went back to the park.

Free cupcakes, just waiting for someone to smash their fat fingers into

Events:

Well I'm sure you all know how I felt about the events. If you missed my ranting, please visit Day 1 and Day 2 reviews.

The Disney Legends was the highlight of the trip and also the best event I think I got to see. I honestly can't speak for the other events because we barely got into any, but from the... two we got to see, they were really cool to see. Seeing the Pixar directors was fantastic! We had to wait a really long time, but it was amazing to be close and listen to them all speak and listen to the Q&A segment. The only way you'd be able to see more than 2 events a day (because of the 8 hours you'd have to wait for each) would be to team up and go to different events while the others were waiting in line - then take turns.

I'm not sure D23 anticipated the volume of guests they would have - that was evident on the first day we arrived to the tangled spaghetti queues - so the big, interesting events were few and far between. There were a lot of events each day, but only a few appealed to us. I think a lot of the guests who shared our demographic had the same idea, resulting in the enormous queues and wait times.

Exhibitors:

I didn't even notice them, honestly.
The only exhibit I cared about was the free cupcakes because they were free. Other than that, Kiwi and I spent barely or none time in each. A waste of space and time for what they were. And what they were, were giant advertisements.

One exhibit that I thought had potential was the "Treasures of the Disney Archives" exhibit. We waited in line for a good 25 minutes in costume to go see it, and there wasn't much to see, but it was still interesting.

There were a few convention rooms linked into a guarded area where props from various Disney movies and television shows were placed about to view and photograph. There were the original Mouseketeer costumes, the book from the opening of Sleeping Beauty, with some hand-painted pages on the side, wardrobe from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and props from Tron and Pirates of the Carribean. While I thought the wardrobe and props they provided for the exhibit were exciting to see, I couldn't help but feel a sense of disappointment. Maybe it was just left over from the day before, but something seemed off about the "Tresures" archive. Granted, I suppose they were only allowed a certain amount of space to occupy, but there just wasn't enough content to be spectacular. You know when you walk into the Hard Rock Cafe or Planet Hollywood, and there's all that great memorabilia crammed into the restaurant (which is clearly replicas but you feel excited anyway)? That's how I should have felt. Instead of a dark room with glass boxes illuminated which made me feel like I was at a comic convention after close, it should have been brightly lit, with more props and exciting things to look at. Some of the most interesting things (like Walt's original Mickey plush that rode with him on his first train ride) were right at the front behind some burly security guard in a poorly lit entrance way. I needed more glitz and glam - and Disney is damn well known for it! Neat, but not up to it's full potential.
(My brother who does set-dec will probably scold me for not properly adressing each Treasure as it is; set-dec, wardrobe, prop etc)

Captain Jack

Some Obscure Pirate Rings

Roger Rabbit Wardrobe (Eddie and Dolores)

Roger Rabbit Set Dec

A Replica of Frank Thomas' desk (one of the 9 old men)

The Zorro Wardrobe for the Original TV Series

An Original Promo Poster for Sleeping Beauty

The Sleeping Beauty Hand-Painted Book Pages

Jessica Rabbit Mock-Up Figure

Roger and Herman Mock-Up Figures


Guests:

The most fun!

While in costume 2 out of 3 days, we had a slew of people compliment us, take photos with us, yell out to us, it was incredible. On the third day we felt like celebrities. The expo was a lot thinner than the day before, but there were still some great fans around. People also seemed to notice us more! Kiwi and I were stopped numerous times for photos. One instance we were even stopped for 20 minutes so that a cemi-circle of people could take our photo. Some people came up to be in the photo with us, but mostly they just took photos of us together. It was the most fun we had all weekend, being so loved. Waving and smiling at people who called out to us, posing for photos, being complimented on our costumes... I am so happy we decided to go in costume, it was something we'll never forget.

A photo taken of us by Budget Fairy Tale
Great photo by Anime Nut
I wont do a sum-up, because that involves being one of those sitcom narrators and I wont be a part of it. Instead, check out these photos!

The Convention Center

Other cosplayers
 
On the last day we lucked out and walked by Eric Goldberg

Awesome Ariel and Eric cosplayers

Some kinda mermaid box

Jack's compass

Some crap. Probably not the hero props...

Photo of us with the great cosplayers from the Haunted Mansion!
-Strawberry

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Post-iTuesday

The little bonnet makes it.
This one was demanded!